Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
