5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize