return my video game
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize