I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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