So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
