doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
