I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
All I want is dick and wine.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
