Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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