Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
