it was like his penis was on wheels.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I believe in your delicious
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
