You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
