i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize