I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You ate ashes out of my bong
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
