Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
