Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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