He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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