I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
