I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
