3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize