That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
