just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
we should paint friendship bongs
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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