if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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