Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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