soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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