You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
