Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
