but the lizard people decide everything anyway
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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