I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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