You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
