I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
