Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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