This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
