I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
