Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
