Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
