listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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