Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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