then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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