I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
