Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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