At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Randomize
