Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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