You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
