If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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