There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
