no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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