I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize