oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
