Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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