I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
