He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I want to fling myself into the sun
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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