im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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