I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I look excited, but its just a facade.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
