Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
