Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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