I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
