Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize