the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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