I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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