Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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