Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
