The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
